Nomads!

I was expecting to arrive in Zurich and see a large community of expats - people far away from home, trying to build a new life in a new country, either longing for return, or happy to consider this their new home - but always feeling some attachment to their original country, striving to keep at least some connections with their "identity".

What I found instead was a large community of nomads - people that don't seem to belong anywhere.

Before 30, many of them have lived in three, four or more countries. Most of their adult life was spent "away", and they don't feel any attachment to "home" anymore.
Frequently the answer to "where are you from?" is met with a "what do you mean?" or "it depends...". Some don't care about voting, and have only a vague interest on what's happening on their original countries, going there once or twice a year - usually for Christmas.
If they eventually change countries again in the future, chances are it won't be to the one where they were born and their family is in - the fact it is "home" isn't factored at all in the decision about "where to live".


I found this deeply disturbing (still do). In my mind, nomads were people that were forced to move - nobody able to choose would want to stay for long in that situation. And there would always be a special attachment to the place where one was born, where most of one's family still reside.
Here, privileged people - a financial and intellectual elite - seem to accept it willingly without any reserve.

This forced me to realize how much my opinions were distorted by a limited world view, based on a particular relation with my family and country. While here, I found several good reasons for not wanting to "go back":

- Broken families
- Weak national identities
- Poverty
- Repressive and/or authoritarian political environments.

Add to this the fact that being away for long weakens ties to the point where people "feel like a foreigner in switzerland, and a tourist in my country": friends move on, family gets used to remoteness, countries change, a mindset of "being away" is created - the result is a sense of not belonging, of not having (and in some cases not needing) roots.


Maybe this rootlessness is positive - they are the true "citizens of the world", able and prepared to live in any place - while I continue to be bound and limited by my locality, which will always pull me to the same place.

Leaving

As I'm buying the first sets of plane tickets, I'm struggling with my emotions.

A seemingly simple question is making me rethink again how wise was my decision:

- Will I be living in Zurich and coming home on the weekends, or will I be living in Lisbon and going to work in Zurich during the week?

Slowly, the question stops being about buying return tickets, and becomes an in-depth analysis of my choices:

- Why am I doing this?
- What is waiting for me on the other side?
- Will I succeed?
- How will this change me?
- How will this change my family?
- Will I ever regret it?
- Is this really a good idea?

While pondering, I try to find the answers in my children's reactions:

The younger is excited with the prospect of change. At 7 years old, he seems either very unconscious or very brave (probably both). For him, we should all go and try it out - to hell the consequences. Having two houses, living in a different country, seeing different things - what an adventure! What's there to lose?

At 9, the older one is afraid of the change - and especially the uncertainty.
Are we all going? When? What are we going to meet? What language will we be talking? What will happen to friends? How is school there? How are people?
She seems to have more to lose (or be more conscious about it).


Since they don't seem to be helping me with my questions, I turn to my wife. She always seems to know better...

She is not sure if she wants all the family to go, but she is pretty sure this is too good of an opportunity for me to waste. If it doesn't work... I can always come back. She will be taking care of things in Portugal. For her, the decision is very simple.

Her certainty about the topic, her willingness and capability to take care of the family while I'm not home gives me the insurance I need to realize that this is a controlled risk and that I can focus on what's coming, instead of worrying (too much) about what I'm leaving behind. I decide to buy return tickets from Zurich.


Looking back to this time almost two years later, there are a few answers that are now clear to me - others are more complicated. It has certainly been worth it, and it has changed me deeply - to prove it, the change in language in which I write my experiences here.

Nowadays I don't have to be afraid about not knowing where is "home" - that has been the main lesson from this adventure. And I now know the right answer to the logistic problem: buy one way tickets - it makes it simpler and cheaper to change plan(e)s at the last minute.